Happy Getting Older! :")

Did I just getting older? Did I just turning from some age into another? Hmmm… well, yeah I did.

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me then! YEAY!

Thanks God for giving me another year to live. I don’t know yet when I have to come back in Your arms, but knowing that this year I got another chance to breathe, so I will embrace this grace and live my life as I would die tomorrow *damn, I’m just quoting* haha. Means I will become a better person, yet I will fulfill my destiny. Promise! Tons of never ending love and blessings You have given me up till now, I definitely couldn’t ask for more, G.

Next, thanks for all the birthday wishes and prayers, dear people! I could not be more grateful having you all here in my life as my awesome family, beloved friends, and amazing people that I’ve ever met. Looking back years ago that I’ve been through until now, so many things happens because of you-with you- and through you, guys. This whole life process with you are nerve-wrecking and yet wonderful in time, honestly. Huge thanks for those who are willingly “write” something here in this life book of mine. Intended or not, thanks.

BUT,

Ironically, the night before I was officially ** years old was the night where I told my mom that I’m not ready to become someone on that age. Yup, I doubted myself. Last night.

Everyone suppose to be excited, right, when they are turning into another state of their lives? I’m not telling you that I wasn’t excited about my birthday, but somehow, I didn’t know why that the idea of getting older seems to be scary in my mind. Like there will be more responsibilities, more goals in future life, more serious commitments on almost all the things that attached to me—job, work stuffs, relationship, family, and so on. Even I’ve already captured myself as a grown up woman. That woman who soon have a bachelor degree in her name; that woman who soon work in a big publishing company; that woman who soon to be a workaholic book editor; that woman who soon pursue her dream more and more in writings, that woman who soon marry a man and—SKIP!

Enough, I had enough capturing myself as a grown up woman. I admit it was too horrible right now and yet very ridiculous to imagine at this time. I also know that my age now isn’t getting any closer to that woman, way too far and many miles to go. But guess what, my mind went crazy sometimes. It was! And it was never getting any better. Pathetically, even I told my mom that I don’t want to get older. WOW. Wasn’t that crazy? Or creepy knowing the fact that I am still a college student. Crabb, I don’t know exactly why my mind went into this serious suicide.

Yeah, just laugh at me as long and as much as you want it, readers. Let it all go.

Or wait until you know this response of my mom, “Really? How can you say that you don’t want to get older when you’ve been through this far in life? What you capturing right now is still far away, dear. Just enjoy the journey you’re about to going through until that time. I’m sure there are lots of stuffs you don’t want to miss the next day.”

Freeze.

“But, hey, you still have 4 hours to go before tomorrow.” She continued. “If you don’t want to see those stuffs and you are already giving up right now, you’d better do something to stop this day. That’s what you are talking about, right?”

BAM!!!

Have no idea anymore to stop that day, I kept my mouth shut and crawling to my bed. Still breathing, woke up this morning and………

I WAS GETTING OLDER.

(again) HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me, the little Nineteenerd!

On my way enjoying life,

(WoR)